Finding Glimpses of God in the Dark

I’ve been away for a bit, trying to get everything prepared as quickly as possible for knee surgery—the date has moved to this month (December 17)—in the midst of work (and its stressors), communications with the doctors and surgery scheduler (and their sweet kindness and grace), and finally, forcing myself to be quiet enough to face my emotions surrounding it all (and the fear and uncomfortableness that comes with vulnerability).

***

I’ve been sitting for the past hour with my playlist of hymns, quietly communing with Jehovah-shamma (the Lord is there) and giving myself permission to just… be and feel whatever comes up. Naturally, I wrote out my emotions with all the fear, trust in Yahweh, and non-judgement as possible. (I love these pre-dawn musings that happen in the midst of worship 🙂).

In the span of an hour, I wrote the following poem:

Glimpses of God

In the dark,
I find glimpses of You, Lord,
caring for me til the morn.

You cover me 
with peace that passes all knowledge;
love that never lets go.

Rejoice over me
with singing and timely Psalms.
My trust is in You.

Where can I flee
from Your Spirit? I dare not leave.
You are my only refuge.

Though the waves crash o’er me
and life’s pains immobilize my body,
still I will walk with You,
hand-in-hand,
for You are my midnight moon.

There is no other path.
Guide me to the sun-lit day.