I’m sitting in my apartment, alone, as rain throws itself hard against my windowpane and I can’t stop crying. Independence comes with a price. I scour Facebook newsfeeds and absentmindedly notice how everyone looks so happy, or sad, nothing in between. The silence is getting to me. I pick up my Kindle and start to … Continue reading Maybe Tomorrow
It starts with a kiss or a touch, always quick, like an accidental brushstroke of painful memories on a virgin canvas. Oops. Did I trigger you with intrusive memories while you were trying to sleep? My bad. Hush, now. Shhh. It’s okay. Just a nightmare. Fine me when you’re awake for the terrible things I … Continue reading The Way Trauma Loves You Back
I just opened up my Bible for the first time in a long time and it landed in Job. My eyes landed on 35:5 which says, “God thunders marvelously with His voice; He does great things we cannot comprehend.” That is the essence, the nature of God, wrapped up in one verse. It makes me … Continue reading Thoughts on Job and Anti-Intellectualism in Christianity
I wish the Prosperity Gospel was real. I really do. For those who do not know what that is, it is a false theology/belief system within Christian doctrine that says "God wants—and even promises! —health, wealth, happiness, and whatever my heart desires." Of course, the ends to the means is on the part of the … Continue reading I Wish the Prosperity Gospel was Real
I don't think I've ever really explained my site title or domain. So, I want to take some time to do that. When I started this blog, back in February 2017, it was during a time where I was doubting God and questioning/abhorring Christianity. I know, what a terrible thing for me, a Christian, to … Continue reading Musings of a Wanderer
Hindsight is a broken mirror which is to say, nothing pretty is ever seen in its gleam and I can't help but wonder if you'll regret me too one day because, trust me, darling, I have lived better without you.
The wooden figurine of Christ nailed to the cross hangs right behind my dad’s pulpit and always gives me the creeps. Maybe because it’s a constant reminder of my sin and worthlessness apart from Christ, which on other days would give me hope, but not today. Today, the cross mocks me. Maybe it’s the condemnation … Continue reading The Pastor’s Daughter
Dear Lovelies, It's time for some tough love and hard truth pills. Here's the reality of the situation: Your support system isn't your therapist; your therapist isn't Superman. We all know recovery isn't linear and there are ups and downs, twists and turns, and even resting places on this journey. There will be days when … Continue reading Your Support System isn’t Your Therapist, Your Therapist isn’t Superman