On Discussing Trauma

I think the hardest aspect of trauma, especially in the context of recovery, is talking about it repeatedly. In my experience, I've only discussed it in detail with a counselor and my former pastor, as he has training as a licensed psychologist. I thought that talking about it to strangers would be easier than talking … Continue reading On Discussing Trauma

The Truth about Novel Writing

Like many people, I've always wanted to write a book, but until recently, I've been enamored by the idea of writing a book. Tell people you're writing a book, that's sexy, romanticized even, but actually writing one is hard work that requires frantic writing as a new idea hits you at 4:00 am, feelings of frustration … Continue reading The Truth about Novel Writing

Nerd!: A Childhood Trauma or The Weight of Loneliness

“You’re such a teacher’s pet! What’s with your hands? Are you retarded or something?” It’s taken me a long time to realize just how traumatizing it all was. That I was ridiculed both for being different and intelligent. One of these things I couldn’t control. I wanted so badly to fit in, to belong to … Continue reading Nerd!: A Childhood Trauma or The Weight of Loneliness

There’s More to Life than Trauma

  Trauma has a way of disrupting and contorting everything so that all one sees is pain, paranoia, danger, and withered hope in the form of flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, intrusive memories, and a flight/fight/freeze brain system in need of major repair. But that's not all there is. There's hope and love, still. And the … Continue reading There’s More to Life than Trauma

Honesty and Hard Questions: Why Holding a Mirror to Your Life is Hard

Earlier today, I talked to someone who asked me why I wasn't doing the things I know I should be doing to better my life. I answered him in silence. There was no adequate answer I could give, which got me thinking: Why do we hold ourselves, and our truth, back from being exposed? I … Continue reading Honesty and Hard Questions: Why Holding a Mirror to Your Life is Hard

Reflections on Being Institutionalized

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m doing life correctly. Because of PTSD, I tend to live the past a lot. It’s unintentional, due to flashbacks, triggers, and panic attacks, but it happens. I have a lot of trouble with being still and clearing my mind because people, responsibilities, and distractions are all vying for my attention. … Continue reading Reflections on Being Institutionalized