The Traumatic Nature of Deconversion

Memory is unreliable when recounting old wounds, but I do know that the beginning of the end started with an email to an old professor in which I expressed: "I don't think I believe in the God of Christianity anymore," and ended with a Facebook post about deconversion, and an awkward, hard conversation at the … Continue reading The Traumatic Nature of Deconversion

On the Rare Mornings I Feel Too Much

On the rare mornings I feel too much, my heart slams itself against my trachea and the world nestles hard on my esophagus. It is not unlike a hummingbird flinging itself against a still, sharp, rain-washed window. On the rare mornings I feel too much, my breathing collapses upon itself, repeatedly, like someone squeezing my … Continue reading On the Rare Mornings I Feel Too Much

A Diagnosis is NOT a Life Sentence

Dear Lovelies, It's 4:08 in the morning as I type this. The reason I'm up this early is that I was thinking of the past few years of my life, as it relates to thorns in my flesh. I was thinking about the conversation I had with my friend, and how we agreed that it … Continue reading A Diagnosis is NOT a Life Sentence

Diagnosis 2005

When your neurologist tells you, at 14, that you have cerebral palsy, thank her for giving you the long-awaited answer to the problem you couldn't name. When you later realize that the diagnosis came 13 years too late, do not spend all of your sixth period advanced algebra math class wondering why you weren't sick … Continue reading Diagnosis 2005