Thorn in my Side

Born of Spirit,
forever indebted and adopted.
So why am I here once again
in this place of danger, isolation,
hurt, and self-disappointment?
Your Spirit reigns within,
a child of Yours I am,
so I shouldn’t be unrenewed or
conformed in my thinking, right?

“You are mine,” I hear you softly whisper.
I smile. I am yours, but I also need help.

They tell me it’s bad.
A pretty flower shouldn’t want
to be choked by weeds, willingly.
They place me in a case,
for my own protection, they claim.
I squirm. I don’t wanna be protected.
I want freedom.

It’s ironic though.
You’re the only one
who has the potential and heart to save me,
and I’m STILL running away, in my own way.
You’re still sovereign, I just…
don’t want to sign the consent form to go under Your knife.

Can’t put a bandage on this wound that obviously needs surgery…
It hurts, letting You rip this from me.

This thorn in my side, why this particular one?
What’s the purpose of my bleeding mental state?
I thought You were gonna heal me!
Is this a repeated, life-long healing?
I don’t understand You, but then again, I’m not meant to.
Forgive me for questioning You, Master.
Just…sustain me whilst You rip this thorn away.