I apologize for the silence; my house was broken into two weeks ago. I’ll spare you the details but all the electronics, including 3 flat screen TVs and my $600 laptop, were taken. (I’m writing this post via the iPhone app.) I did not notice until yesterday, when I was looking for them, that my comb and brush had been stolen as well. I can’t help but chuckle at that. The electronics, watches, and shoes—yes, shoes!—I can understand, but basic hair necessities, really?
The constant sense of violation and injustice, not to mention paranoia, that was prevalent within the first week has receded a bit, just a little. It doesn’t keep me up now nearly as long as it used to and I’m still working on forgiveness and guarding my heart from turning bitter on God. He knows my pain. No need to add more just because of unkempt emotions.
I did not want to write this post, but I needed to. I needed to get it all out. I keep thinking of the verse where God declares that vengeance is His, and His alone. The implication then is this: If God is just, and vengeance is his, do I trust Him enough to handle this incredibly devastating situation, and bring about justice in His timing, or take matters into my own hands and set about getting revenge? Obviously, I know to let God do his thing, but it’s hard when my family and I feel so violated. That said, even in the midst of this tragedy, we’ve been growing closer.
I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to get another laptop (I can live without my TV), but I hope it’s soon. That’s the one thing I do need. I can’t understand why God allowed this to happen and, though tempting, I won’t drive Him or myself crazy asking and trying to figure out why. It’s frustrating that there are things I’ll never understand about God, but if I did, I suppose I wouldn’t need Him. This violation has shaken me, but it has not stolen my faith; I am grateful for that.