“God, Your grace is astounding.”
That was literally the first thing out of my mouth when sleep refused to hold me any longer. Not even two minutes after I uttered the last syllable of “astounding” I—very clearly—heard Holy Spirit say “Make it personal.” So I said, with emphasis, “God, Your grace to me is astounding.”
My ears heard noise but I couldn’t make it out until sleep released its hold on me a little more. Once I was awake, and could sit saturated, with no borders or boundaries, with the truth that had just come from my mouth, I smiled because I could understand what the sound was. It was worship music.
“My Portion”: A Biblical History Lesson in Song
My heart, my flesh, may fail.
You are my portion. You are my portion.Bridge of the song “My Portion” by Shane & Shane.
The Bible says that those who put their faith in Christ are “sealed” with the Holy Spirit, who is “a down payment of our inheritance.” In the Old Testament, a “portion” was another word for inheritance. And it specifically addresses the plot of land the Israelites received as they entered into the Promised Land. In the New Testament, portion takes on a greater meaning since Jesus, through His sacrificial death and subsequent resurrection, is the literal fulfillment of every prophesy in the Old Testament. The songwriter is, essentially, saying that even though his heart and affections may fail him by not being aligned/attuned to Christ consistently, due to the nature of sin and the brokenness of this world, that he takes heart in the fact that Christ is his inheritance, his portion, not because of anything that he’s done but purely because of Jesus’ sacrifice and his faith in Him. He knows he will see his God soon, just as Scripture promises.
Making It Personal
As I whisper-scream the bridge and chorus of the song, the words take on a fuller meaning, especially since I now know what I’m actually singing about. And again, the Holy Spirit repeats His declaration to me, “Make it personal.”
Secure faith trumps intellectual knowledge. “God, Your grace, to me, is astounding.” None of my sin or stupidity can keep God from loving me. Neither my tendency to overthink and analyze everything to the point where it causes anxiety and panic attacks, nor my residual fear of God, nor my wanting to be perfect and beating myself up and hiding from God because I’m not, nor my idle, lifeless words and thoughts in dark times, nor my hurtful sarcasm when I want to get back at someone who’s hurt me or to prevent myself from getting hurt, nor my judgment of other Christians who think and worship differently than I do, nor my inability to forgive myself sometimes… none of these things stop God from being crazy about me, or forgiving me of my many sins, or giving me endless, boundless chances to come to Him so He can deliver, renew, and love me. He is El Roi, the God who sees me.
My heart, my flesh, may fail.
You are my portion. You are my portion.
Hallelujah, that my inheritance, my portion, is not dependent on me or anything that I’ve done but only—purely—what Christ has done! The grace of God to me, is astounding indeed!