“F.A.I.L. Remember the acronym? What I told you all those years ago?” J. asked me last night in response to me shouting “I’ve failed!” at him while throwing my covenant ring at his chest. * I was relaying the tale of the silent panic attack and flashback I had when I went to dessert with... Continue Reading →
Morning Tears, Panic Attacks, and Chocolate Cake: An Exercise in Grounding and Vulnerability
Saturday morning, I woke up crying; that day was one I wish I didn’t have to endure. Friday night—into the wee hours of the morning (before the sun made its debut)—intrusive memories created a whirlwind in my brain that lasted so long I almost watched the sun rise. Last Tuesday, I hung out with some... Continue Reading →
Love Your Enemies (Reflections on Luke 6:27-28)
Last Friday morning, I awoke early (like before the crack of dawn early!) and meditated on a well-known, often-quoted-out-of-context passage of Scripture. I’ve read these verses countless times and it hits me anew even now. 27. “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28. bless... Continue Reading →
Jesus and His Trauma
"Let this cup pass from me... nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done." The immortal becomes mortal. The beloved Son of the Creator is clothed in human flesh that is torn, bleeding, sweating, and hurting as it is nailed to a wooden cross. His friends have abandoned him, hidden away, scared for their lives... Continue Reading →
Writing in the Midst of a Flashback
6 A.M. A nurse disturbs my nightmares, and temporarily prevents me from my ritual of staring at the wall upon sweating myself awake, to take my vitals. She wants to make sure I’m still alive, even though, by virtue of this place, I am considered one of the walking dead. 7 A.M. I try to... Continue Reading →