Your Support System isn’t Your Therapist, Your Therapist isn’t Superman

Dear Lovelies, It's time for some tough love and hard truth pills. Here's the reality of the situation: Your support system isn't your therapist; you're therapist isn't Superman. We all know recovery isn't linear and there are ups and downs, twists and turns, and even resting places on this journey. There will be days when … Continue reading Your Support System isn’t Your Therapist, Your Therapist isn’t Superman

Lost in a Memory

I feel lost in a memory and, for someone like me, that's the worst place to be. I have to keep reminding myself of this, what I wrote so long ago. The fact that I have to hurts me in so many ways. These memories (and flashbacks) are teleportation devices, sending me back to the … Continue reading Lost in a Memory

A Letter to Panic Attacks and Anxiety

Dear Anxiety and PTSD-induced Panic Attacks, I hate you. No, I loathe you. You are the bane of my existence and the reason I can't enjoy the things that once brought me peace and happiness like God or writing or reading. Yes, even reading (don't ask, just know that it is horrendous). You make me … Continue reading A Letter to Panic Attacks and Anxiety

Panic Attacks and Sexuality in the Church

My pastor talked about sex last Tuesday night. I knew that before I got there, thanks to the Facebook post on our mid-week service page. In hindsight, I probably should not have gone, but I'm getting ahead of myself. For context, we're currently going through the book of Ephesians and Tuesday night's passage of Scripture … Continue reading Panic Attacks and Sexuality in the Church

Viewing God Through the Lens of Trauma

Earlier today, I read through my friend Michael Patton's post "On Leaving My First Love" and found similarities between where he was years ago and where I find myself now. In it, he speaks of his life's difficulties, arguing with God, and finally coming to a place of surrender. I am somewhere between pulling myself … Continue reading Viewing God Through the Lens of Trauma

The Siren Song of Self-Harm

These past few weeks have been hard, especially Tuesday. Tuesday was a hellish day because it marked 4 years of dealing with the Beast that is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. You would think that after some time, especially with the introduction and implementation of coping mechanisms and breathing techniques, the Beast would get bored and go … Continue reading The Siren Song of Self-Harm

An Honest Conversation about Suicide

I did not want to write this, but it needed to be said. This is hard for me. Please give me grace. An Honest and Vulnerable Prayer God, please, if You are, at all, merciful like they say You are, like I know You to be, please kill me. Please. I will never ask for … Continue reading An Honest Conversation about Suicide

6 Reasons for Midnight Tears

I'm sitting on my bed, crying because all the floors in my parents' house are tile, which is a problem because I want to sit and be as small as possible but I can't because tile hurts differently than carpet. I'm crying because this is the second, no, third anxiety attack I've had in a … Continue reading 6 Reasons for Midnight Tears