Dear Anxiety and PTSD-induced Panic Attacks, I hate you. No, I loathe you. You are the bane of my existence and the reason I can't enjoy the things that once brought me peace and happiness like God or writing or reading. Yes, even reading (don't ask, just know that it is horrendous). You make me... Continue Reading →
Panic Attacks and Sexuality in the Church
My pastor talked about sex last Tuesday night. I knew that before I got there, thanks to the Facebook post on our mid-week service page. In hindsight, I probably should not have gone, but I'm getting ahead of myself. For context, we're currently going through the book of Ephesians and Tuesday night's passage of Scripture... Continue Reading →
Viewing God Through the Lens of Trauma
Earlier today, I read through my friend Michael Patton's post "On Leaving My First Love" and found similarities between where he was years ago and where I find myself now. In it, he speaks of his life's difficulties, arguing with God, and finally coming to a place of surrender. I am somewhere between pulling myself... Continue Reading →
The Siren Song of Self-Harm
These past few weeks have been hard, especially Tuesday. Tuesday was a hellish day because it marked 4 years of dealing with the Beast that is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. You would think that after some time, especially with the introduction and implementation of coping mechanisms and breathing techniques, the Beast would get bored and go... Continue Reading →
I Begged God for Death… (An Honest Conversation About Suicide)
I did not want to write this, but it needed to be said. This is hard for me. Please give me grace. An Honest and Vulnerable PrayerGod, please, if You are, at all, merciful like they say You are, like I know You to be, please kill me. Please. I will never ask for anything... Continue Reading →
Musings of a Wanderer 