“...What year is it?” I asked J. near the beginning of our session as I tried hard to ground myself to reality. I’m safe. I’m safe. I’m safe. “What year do you think it is?” He, being the therapist that he is, never gives me a straight answer; always opting for me to figure it... Continue Reading →
Panic Attacks Make Recovery Worth It
I know how to stop myself from having a panic attack. Sometimes, it doesn't work. On the days that it does, it makes recovery seem like within the reach of my fingertips. On the days when it doesn't, on the days when I hide in my bed, under my bedsheets, hiding myself from the world,... Continue Reading →
The Way Trauma Loves You Back
It starts with a kiss or a touch, always quick, like an accidental brushstroke of painful memories on a virgin canvas. Oops. Did I trigger you with intrusive memories while you were trying to sleep? My bad. Hush, now. Shhh. It’s okay. Just a nightmare. Fine me when you’re awake for the terrible things I... Continue Reading →
Your Support System isn’t Your Therapist, Your Therapist isn’t Superman
Dear Lovelies, It's time for some tough love and hard truth pills. Here's the reality of the situation: Your support system isn't your therapist; your therapist isn't Superman. We all know recovery isn't linear and there are ups and downs, twists and turns, and even resting places on this journey. There will be days when... Continue Reading →
Lost in a Memory
I feel lost in a memory and, for someone like me, that's the worst place to be. I have to keep reminding myself of this, what I wrote so long ago. The fact that I have to hurts me in so many ways. These memories (and flashbacks) are teleportation devices, sending me back to the... Continue Reading →
Musings of a Wanderer 