Being Honest with God: A Typewritten Lament (and Health Update)

Dear friend, I’m sorry I've been away for a while; there's a reason for that. Between work, life, and chronic health issues zapping my strength (both physically and emotionally), I haven’t had the energy to write. Still, I’ve been wanting to update you for a while now and I recently sat at the typewriter to... Continue Reading →

I Believe, Lord—Help My Unbelief: Clinging to YHWH in the Dark

I feel like everything I wrote in my last post was a lie. Or maybe God is just testing me. Or Satan’s harassing me—looking to see if I’ll really “praise Him in this storm” while the waves become tsunami-level dangerous. Or maybe this is just…life. Recovering Alone Recently, I learned that the facility where I... Continue Reading →

“I’ll Praise You in This Storm”: Finding God Through Pain and Recovery

I wanted to write sooner—to update you, to process—but fear (and writer’s block) held me back. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of being honest about what the recovery process has been like. But today, I’m pushing past the fear. Before the sun rose, Holy Spirit woke me up with a song: Casting Crowns’ Praise You in... Continue Reading →

Finding Glimpses of God in the Dark

I’ve been away for a bit, trying to get everything prepared as quickly as possible for knee surgery—the date has moved to this month (December 17)—in the midst of work (and its stressors), communications with the doctors and surgery scheduler (and their sweet kindness and grace), and finally, forcing myself to be quiet enough to... Continue Reading →

Morning Tears, Panic Attacks, and Chocolate Cake: An Exercise in Grounding and Vulnerability

Saturday morning, I woke up crying; that day was one I wish I didn’t have to endure. Friday night—into the wee hours of the morning (before the sun made its debut)—intrusive memories created a whirlwind in my brain that lasted so long I almost watched the sun rise. Last Tuesday, I hung out with some... Continue Reading →

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