I’ve been away for a bit, trying to get everything prepared as quickly as possible for knee surgery—the date has moved to this month (December 17)—in the midst of work (and its stressors), communications with the doctors and surgery scheduler (and their sweet kindness and grace), and finally, forcing myself to be quiet enough to... Continue Reading →
Dear Danny (Anger and the Beginning of Acceptance After A Friend’s Suicide)
Dear Danny, I had to work today. I dreaded it cuz it’s nearing Thanksgiving and you know how the store gets near the holidays. Everybody and they mama is in the store, buying up all the groceries, and just chaos everywhere. I’m dreading Wednesday. I have a 3-hour shift but I’m so dreading it… I... Continue Reading →
On the Rare Mornings I Feel Too Much
On the rare mornings I feel too much, my heart slams itself against my trachea and the world nestles hard on my esophagus. It is not unlike a hummingbird flinging itself against a still, sharp, rain-washed window. On the rare mornings I feel too much, my breathing collapses upon itself, repeatedly, like someone squeezing my... Continue Reading →
The Traumatic Nature of Deconversion
Memory is unreliable when recounting old wounds, but I do know that the beginning of the end started with an email to my former professor in which I expressed: "I don't think I believe in the God of Christianity anymore," and ended with a Facebook post about deconversion, and an awkward, hard conversation at the... Continue Reading →
A Diagnosis is NOT a Life Sentence
Dear Lovelies, It's 4:08 in the morning as I type this. The reason I'm up this early is that I was thinking of the past few years of my life, as it relates to thorns in my flesh. I was thinking about the conversation I had with my friend, and how we agreed that it... Continue Reading →
Musings of a Wanderer 