“I’ll Praise You in This Storm”: Finding God Through Pain and Recovery

I wanted to write sooner—to update you, to process—but fear (and writer’s block) held me back. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of being honest about what the recovery process has been like. But today, I’m pushing past the fear. Before the sun rose, Holy Spirit woke me up with a song: Casting Crowns’ Praise You in... Continue Reading →

Finding Glimpses of God in the Dark

I’ve been away for a bit, trying to get everything prepared as quickly as possible for knee surgery—the date has moved to this month (December 17)—in the midst of work (and its stressors), communications with the doctors and surgery scheduler (and their sweet kindness and grace), and finally, forcing myself to be quiet enough to... Continue Reading →

A Poetic Response to Acute and Chronic Suffering

Last weekend, I fell after getting out of the car. My kneecaps dislocated, locked, and then dislocated again. My body has had a mind of its own for a while now. As a writer with cerebral palsy, I’m used to it. Earlier in the week, I went to my orthopedic doctor who told me what... Continue Reading →

Morning Tears, Panic Attacks, and Chocolate Cake: An Exercise in Grounding and Vulnerability

Saturday morning, I woke up crying; that day was one I wish I didn’t have to endure. Friday night—into the wee hours of the morning (before the sun made its debut)—intrusive memories created a whirlwind in my brain that lasted so long I almost watched the sun rise. Last Tuesday, I hung out with some... Continue Reading →

Even in the “Not Yet,” God is Still Worthy

It’s a few minutes before 5:00a.m and I’m awake. I’m up worshipping; a practice I’ve not implemented in way too long. Neglecting and Bargaining with Yahweh Life and stress have distracted me, broken me, and I’ve neglected my relationship with Yahweh. I’ve been struggling with depression, anxiety, a hardened heart, and suicidal thoughts for the... Continue Reading →

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